An (Attempted) Orientation to a Day Out at the Beach
by Rubyyy
Summary: An orientation to the beach for Boong-do doesn't quite go as planned, much to Hee-jin's dismay.


**A/N: It's been a year since I last wrote a QIHM story, and 4 years since I started! Wow. Thanks so much to all the readers who continue to discover this humble collection of fics here on FFN, and for all the kind words of encouragement. This is a story I was inspired to write sometime earlier this year... but I wasn't able to finish it till now! The seasons may have changed in Korea (it's Autumn!) but just imagine this taking place in the hot, hot Summer ;) Thank you as always for reading! -R xx**

 ** _Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._**

 **...**

"We're here, Boong-do _ssi_! Finally we've made it out to the beach!"

"It's sand and salt water, Hee-jin _ssi_. I'm not sure why we're supposed to be excited about this."

"But it's _soooo_ much more than that! See? Just look around you! The camaraderie among friends, meaningful time spent with family, a fun date with your other half…"

"Back in my day, arriving at a sand dune near the sea meant that we had to welcome the commander from a fara- _mmph-_ " _(Hee-jin covers his mouth with her hand)_

"Well, you're in _my_ day now. And _I_ say we make the most of _this_ day, otherwise you _may not_ have many other days with _me_ to speak of. Suffice to say you've understood that, right, my lord?"

" _Mmph."_

"A little more enthusiasm wouldn't hurt, eh?"

" _Mmmmmphhh."_

"Don't roll your eyes at me, old man."

" _Hmph."_

…

"Boong-do _ssi_ …"

"No."

"But..."

"I said no, Hee-jin _ssi_."

" _But…"_

 _(sigh)_ "Hee-jin _ssi_. I know you females may have certain… _desires_ to ogle at good-looking, hot-blooded young gentlemen with their tops removed, but certainly there must be a certain time and place - even _decorum_ for such friv…"

"But we're at the beach, Boong-do _ssi_! You're _supposed_ to take your top off! And why did you even wear the outer layer of your _hanbok_ here?!"

"…and I wouldn't even dream of asking you to do the same, Hee-jin _ssi_ , so I don't understand wh- wait, Hee-jin _ssi._ This is not the place for you t- umm, why are you taki… uhh… _oh, I can't even look at this."_

" _Are we being a little shy, Kim Boong-do ssi? Would you like me to ta-"_

"PUT ON YOUR CLOTHES NOW!"

 _(sulks)_ "You're such a spoilsport, Kim Boong-do."

…

"Hmm, this won't quite do. This really won't quite do…"

(whispering) _"Boong-do ssi…"_

"No, let me finish, Hee-jin _ssi._ You always try to interrupt me when I make my points. I don't interrupt you, do I?"

"No, not at all. _(whispering)_ _Definitely not the time you cut in on my conversation with Soo-kyung when we were talking about re-watching 'The Princess's Man' to give a lecture on alllllll the Joseon dynasty monarchs. Pfft – you weren't even born during the reign of the great King Sejong!"_

"I apologize. Now, where was I… ah, yes. So, in my humble opinion, to build the most perfect Joseon fortress, we'll have to knock down _this_ wall here, smoothen out _this_ section for the moat – every good fortress needs a good moat – and…"

"MOM! This weird _ahjussi_ in a bathrobe is destroying my sandcastle!"

( _cough)_ "Well, little architect - first of all, this is _not_ a bathrobe. It is made from the finest threads of Joseon and it's _way_ classier than whatever you call… a _bathrobe_. Second, I am only wearing this white _durumagi_ so I won't be roasted by those harsh ultraviolet rays I've heard too much about. It's called 'taking appropriate measures'. And third, I am only just trying to help you make your fortress more structurally sound and much more formidable than the sorry excuse you have at the moment. And all you _really_ need to do is to nick this little portion _here_ …"

"MOOOOOOOM!"

"Boong-do _ssi_! I think you have scared this little boy quite enough, and I suggest you stop while you're ahead because I see his angry mother dashing up towards us from the sea!"

"Ah, it's just as well – I'd be happy to advise her on permitting her child more freedom to exp-"

 _(hissing)_ _"We're not going to be permitted much freedom here if we don't move NOW!"_

 _(Boong-do innocently kicks down a side of the sandcastle wall)_ "Oops… looks like you'll just have to do what I say then, little architect…"

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

"RUN BOONG-DO _SSI_! RUUUUN!"

…

 _(gasp)_ "Can we… are we…" _(wheeze)_

 _(cough)_ "Yes, Hee-jin _ssi_ , I believe that overprotective excuse of a mother has lost us."

 _(pants)_ "I came here… to have a… relaxing day on the beach… not run… a freaking marathon…"

"Well, when I was doing my research on the Web in the Nets like you taught me, I came across some interesting material on my Tube. I imagine those lifeguard ladies I watched in that moving film with singing and dancing the other day would have needed to do a fair bit of running to keep fit. But I suppose all that body gyrating they do keeps them in shape anyway…"

 _(Hee-jin catches her breath and glares at Boong-do)_

"…and I have stared into those eyes many moons enough to know when that intense gaze of yours is about to shoot darts and arrows in my innocent direction…"

"'Lifeguard ladies', huh? A refined and distinguished Joseon scholar like yourself finding pleasure in watching 7 females in swimsuits shake their tushes, while you were _screaming_ at me earlier to cover up my own body?"

 _(whispers) "Well, I admit that Seol-hyun yang can come across as rather adorable…"_

"Well, _well_. Boong-do _ssi_ , talk about double standards. I hereby give you full permission – no, you are MORE than welcome to take your pick of any other specimen from the female species available here and ogle at them all you'd like, because clearly I AM NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU."

 _(Hee-jin picks up her beach bag and stalks away)_

 _(sigh)_ " _So much for being 'lucky lucky'._ Hee-jin _ssi~!_ "

…

" _Ahem."_

 _(Hee-jin ignores Boong-do and types furiously away on her phone)_

"Hee-jin _ssi_."

 _(Hee-jin still ignores Boong-do and continues typing)_

"Hee-jin _ssi_."

 _(finally looks up)_ "WHAT DO YOU WANT? Have you not humiliated me enough, Boong-do _ssi_? Would you like to introduce me to your next conquest that you picked up amongst the barnacles? I should at least be allowed to update Soo-kyung about the injustice and distress you have caused me…"

"…my hands are cold."

"WHAT?! Your… _oh_. Your hands… they're all covered in chocolate ice-cream…"

"…your favourite flavour, right? I mean, they didn't have your favourite Chocolate Decadence, but I thought…"

"Wait… isn't the ice-cream shop on the _other_ end of the beach?"

 _(kneels down to face Hee-jin)_ "I'd do anything to make you happy, you know that, Hee-jin _ssi._ And you know that I only have eyes for _you_. _You_ are the reason I made the future my home, because _you_ are home to me. It's as simple as that. _"_

"…"

"Hee-jin _ssi_ …"

"…you're dripping ice-cream over my new white kaftan."

"Oh. This is where you get angry again, don't you?"

"Well… on a regular day, yes. But my heart is just bursting with so much affection for you right now and I… I just can't be mad at you, Boong-do _ssi_. Just… thank you."

 _(reaches over to kiss her forehead)_ "You're welcome, Hee-jin _ssi_. I'm glad we've got this all cl- ah, what do you think you're doing?"

 _(smiling innocently)_ "Your hand is covered in ice-cream."

"Y-yes, it is… but…"

"So it's just there… pleading… begging… asking me to… _lick_ it…"

"I-I'd rather you just take the cone off my hands and, _ahem_ , lick that instead."

 _(flutters her eyelashes)_ "Does that not… _turn you on_ , Boong-do _ssi_?"

"Well… if you could do that dance like Seol-hyun…"

"WHAT!? If you- _mmph_!" _(Boong-do quietens her with a kiss)_ "Mmmph."

 _(they break away)_ "I'm kidding. You're perfect the way you are, Hee-jin _ssi_."

 _(grabs the ice cream cone from him)_ "You sweet talker. I hope you know how lucky you are that I keep taking you back!"

 _(Boong-do wraps his arms around Hee-jin in a hug)_ _"Don't worry. I know how lucky lucky I am."_

" _Yah!_ You're getting ice-cream all over us!"

 _(sigh_ ) _"That good luck didn't last very long…"_


End file.
